Volume 1; A Covid denier gives me Covid
In a new twist to teaching yoga, I’m now having to actively distance myself from alt-right conspiracy theories. A bit like an accountant who feels the need to be more fun than they actually are, I now have to qualify “yoga teacher” by adding that I am vaccinated. I respect science. I’m a critical thinker.
So I find myself on Substack, launching a newsletter to share my thoughts and stories about teaching yoga and reflections about the wellness industry at large.
The Rise of Conspiracy Yoga
I became aware that my industry was heading off piste mid-way through last year. I was incredulous initially, surely this was just a fringe group? But then social media friends, who’d already been flaunting COVID rules openly, started posting way-out theories about the origins of the virus. We ran a training course in-between lockdowns and all but one participant believed the virus had been introduced to make the population sterile. And then the vaccine arrived and people I thought had been on the level, started talking bat shit crazy about Bill Gates and George Soros.
I didn’t speak out because I don’t like confrontation and, as a self-employed person, I try to avoid losing business. When a couple of people assumed I’d be an anti-vaxxer because I teach yoga, I did put out a clarifier post on Facebook. Two non-yogis liked it. I muted some Facebook friends, un-friended others. I got vaccinated and supported mask wearing at our events.
COVID conspiracy in your face
But sometimes life requires a bit more of us. Just over a week ago, one of my anti-vaxxer, anti-mask, COVID denier yoga students called at my door. In between telling me that it’s all about speaking your truth and how the pandemic had really shown people for who they are, he gave me COVID. He tested positive the following day yet failed to let me know for three days, so I infected my husband too.
To say I was angry is an understatement. If you think this is going to end with me having some great compassionate moment of forgiveness, you’re mistaken. This is one of the most selfish acts I’ve ever encountered, threatening my safety, as well as my husband’s. It’s also profoundly unfair as my husband and I have been really careful throughout the pandemic. And I didn’t get an apology either, just a message to say he was ok because he had some herbs and alkaline bread.
But I was also angry at myself. Angry that I hadn’t spoken up earlier against this sort of behaviour. Angry that I hadn’t insisted he wore a mask when he spoke to me, that I’d even allowed him to visit my house in the first place. I had shown moral cowardice. Like a politician who doesn’t act for the social good for fear of losing votes, I had kept quiet and only taught what people wanted to hear. What sort of teacher, person even, had I become?
Namaste but screw your well-being?
During the time I was unwell, I had time to reflect on questions like this. Aside from the reasons why there’s a lot of QAnon type believers in the wellness industry, what strikes me as odd is the lack of social responsibility in an industry that claims to be about helping people. What you don’t hear too much amongst yogi anti-vaxxer, anti-maskers is social awareness. “I’ve chosen not to have the vaccination and to not wear a mask but I’m aware of the potential impact of my decision on society and am thus more careful. I tell everyone I meet that I am un-vaccinated so they can better assess their own risk” said no-one ever.
Yoga isn’t just about perfecting postures. It has a moral element – right thinking for example, and ahimsa or doing no harm. And Yoga itself is predicated on the notion of interconnectedness. Yoga teachers refer to it all the time. We are all one. My heart connects to yours. My actions affect the whole. Your negative vibe will affect my aura. I might be spreading a killer virus? For some reason that doesn’t count.
So how has yoga become so much about self and less about compassion & empathy? How can quiet meditative introspection not highlight the potential consequences of our actions? When you bring your hands into prayer pose and wish someone Namaste, are you saying my soul recognises your soul, but don’t expect me to give a monkeys about your well-being?
Cold Yoga?
I told two of my yoga teacher friends that I had COVID. Neither asked me how I was feeling. One told me to take cranberry. The other said at least I’d get antibodies. Their pseudo advice felt cold, insincere and, frankly, irresponsible. Neither have any medical background. By contrast the response of my non yogi friends was genuine concern – they asked how I was doing, offered to bring shopping. It was the warmth of a simple, very human response.
Maybe I missed the module in my teacher training that dealt with pandemics. So many yoga teachers and practitioners out there seem full of advice for dealing with it. I practice yoga every day but I’m also a 51 year old menopausal woman with a history of not treating my body well. I was scared when I got a positive test, for all my yoga and eating well I had no idea how I’d react. I can touch my toes safely, and breathe correctly, but I have no real idea of how to treat a novel SARS virus with yoga. The idea of just riding it out with turmeric, Downward Dog and breath of fire is reckless. Yoga is a wonderful complimentary practice and without question helped my recovery, but I’d wager that the vaccine had a bigger role to play.
I know some truly wonderful people in the yoga world but I know many more people with serious issues, and they are usually the ones out there giving “medical” advice. It’s one thing to try healing yourself naturally but encouraging others to do the same? Who on earth would think it a good idea to pass off something you heard at a gong bath in Essex as medical advice? Horse wormer and sitting in a bin full of ice to beat the virus? That’s madness, macho bollocks. And it’s fucking irresponsible.
Yoga as dissociation
The penny dropped on what might be happening when I saw a news report about how driving standards have dropped since the pandemic. People are engaging in more aggressive, risky driving practices. There has also been a rise in the number of people in the service industry being attacked & abused. Following the pandemic and lockdowns, generally people are more sympathetically activated, more angry or fearful or both. The further into sympathetic activation we go the less socialised we are. The less concerned we are with others and the more fixated we are on self and our own survival.
I suspect the same is going on in the wellness industry, except rather than road rage, it’s being masked as saccharin sweet spirituality. The macho exceptionalism of some. The irresponsibility of others doling out false information and dubious health claims. And the lack of regard for the well-being of others, particularly the vulnerable.
When we start to activate the parasympathetic nervous system there are two destinations, according to Stephen Porges. One is a socialised parasympathetic state, categorised by elevated emotions such as empathy and love, and a mindful awareness of your environment and those around you. At the other end of the curve is shut down, dissociation and total withdrawal from social engagement. The older parasympathetic response.
So perhaps my lasting take from this is that as a yoga teacher I cannot rely on the practice of yoga itself to deliver socially responsible outcomes. Yoga and wellness can also re-enforce dissociation from our emotions and from social connection. That there is so much of this in the wellness industry, as highlighted by the response to Covid, is really quite disturbing. And if it remains unchallenged, nothing will change, the wellness industry will lose face and people won’t have the option to heal. So, I, for one, will be re-focusing my teachings on other, connection and social responsibility from here on, no matter how difficult that proves to be.